Dammit Jim, I’m a Real Estate Agent Not A Doctor!

(With apologies to the late great DeForrest Kelley)

Just got off the phone with an agent I know who had an interesting experience today. One of this agent’s listings called. Actually his significant other did, because the guy fell down in pain. Still somewhat conscious, but in lots of pain.

Now, if I were in a situation like that, my real estate agent would not be high on the list of people I would call. And in Agent X’s defense, the first thing he said was, “Call 911!”

“I don’t want to do that because it’ll cost $800!”

Okay, first guess goes to stroke – as in brain damage. Call 911: You’re more likely to live. Call your real estate agent: You’ll be dead, but your corpse will be $800 richer. Or in the case of a stroke: You may live through it, but your vegetable will be $800 richer, thereby requiring all kinds of expensive care.

Not wanting to offend a client, Agent X told me he quickly relented, drove down, bundled the client in his car, and took him to Emergency. Guess what the diagnosis was? Heart Attack. The Universe only knows what would have happened had he been further away or if it was rush hour.

Of course I told this around the office, names filed off to protect the insane. It’s making its way around the real estate community. I’ve already had another person call and ask, “Did you hear about…” Now it’s here, where everybody can laugh. This is too good not to pass on.

(And no, there’s no violation of confidentiality here)

Just goes to show: You can pay one way now, or pay another way later.

Live Fast. Die Cheap. Leave a stupid looking corpse.



Caveat Emptor

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